Coarse Words or Subtle Talk*

The evening before Bobbi led her first retreat in New York, a large group of us took her to a restaurant in Little India for dinner.  Many of us were meeting her for the first time, and after some typical “getting to know you” conversation, we decided it was time for some jokes.  We began with the usual fare – politician jokes, lawyer jokes, a few Buddhist jokes, some western religion jokes for balance – nice low-key material.  Then Michael Wise took the floor, and after feeding us several ordinary sounding set-up lines, our mild-mannered resident shocked us to attention – as he quietly delivered his extremely crude and visually explicit punch-line.  There was a split second of stunned silence and many jaws dropped as we wondered what the Kwan Um School's guiding teacher could be thinking of our low-class sangha.  And then Bobbi burst out laughing loudly, and we all joined in (helped by the joke, which thankfully was kind of funny).  With that barrier passed, we had a thigh-slappingly good time for a while as everyone reached into their repertoires of bawdy humor (with our members of the fairer sex defending themselves quite ably).  I remember surveying the scene at one point when the humor had reached rock bottom, and thinking “Yes, I have truly found my correct spiritual path.”  Of course, we did not become attached to this style, and after we had exhausted its possibilities, we moved on to other subtler topics.

OK, so this episode will probably never be included in any compilation of "ideas for breaking the ice at temple socials."  But for those of us who were there, it was a wonderful reminder of the non-judgmental openness of our school's teaching, and a memorable demonstration of how any situation can be used to bring people closer together.  And indeed, when we convened to sit the retreat the following morning, the atmosphere was very comfortable and intimate, like we had all been close buddies for years (well, a few of us had been buddies for years, but . . . .)   And now, if anyone ever asks you “Why did Soeng Hyang come to New York?” you know one possible style of answer. 

*If this phrase isn't familiar, see Blue Cliff Record, Case 79.